Hey I loved your comments about exs,mate I’ve got a question I was crazy in love with this girl about 3yrs ago everything was goin great and then my father died and I had to go back to nz,anyway I broke up because I had so much on my mind. He just broke up with someone. She asks me how I have been. Thing is, my instinct was to ignore her when she txtd me after a couple of years, but it felt so passive-aggressive. If you’re the one who has been initiating contact, your ex starting to initiate contact (regularly) is a good sign that they are warming up to you and taking responsibility for keeping communication going. Don’t try to figure out why she did it – you can’t. I would not know if he was coming home for dinner or not. They keep on thinking about it, even though there’s nothing more to think about! If you are trying to … I asked him ” why couldn’t you just take it seriously? Sadly they arent people are flawed and have issues. Oops. !…Bottom line…If you WAIT for HER TO CONTACT YOU, You will “Gain Control” of her!…THEN(After you get her attention)…DUMP HER…Why?…Well, you will find in the end, that, YOU DESERVE BETTER! The first time around was a spectacular failure…I was too young to know what love is…there was affection and fondness…but mostly a desperate need to be IN LOVE. I have changed my cell phone number after we broke up and I blocked her everywhere on social networks so that she won’t contact me but I forgot to block her email. It's finally 2021, but the PS5 isn't any easier to find in stock. I got contacted by an ex like 5 years after we had split, and she called me. . Grieve. I tryed talking to her about it for about 3mos because I really do love her and her son nobody ever made me as happy as she did in my life wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she would tell me that was what she wanted to. If your ex gf comes back, do some snooping around. then i met his sister for lunch as were friends still. You REALLY need to reevaluate your standards for a girl. My ex recently contacted me after 5 years. Look at how easily she disposed of you. i Emailed Robinson.buckler when my boyfriend departed from me. My dilemma right now is that since we’ve broken up, she’s contacted me on at least three occasions wanting to “talk” about our current situation. Thanks! Don’t secretly wish that you’re going to get back together. Don’t be over excited to hear from her, just be laid back about it. There IS no going back. I 100% agree. Here are 6 easy tips to handle your ex contacting you again: Let me hear your thoughts on the article below. It only happens in movies. My situation is that I was in a 5 and a half year relationship which ended after we had about a year and a half of ups and downs which I believe was due to a lot of negative outside influences such as my ex being in hospital for periods of time and falling out with her family. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. Fuck him right?! It’s been about 5 years since we have spoken. I ended a relationship with my girlfriend whom we have a child together that is 3years old now. You may even have a slight smirk on your face. he could have been drunk but the texts were very clearly worded. Now 3 months passed after break up. She’ll do it again because obviously you don’t mean that much to her as she does to you. He called her a whore for her cheating and seemed to be over chicks like that, but then jumps straight into dating a girl that degrades herself by posting raunchy pics of herself up and sells sunglasses for a living? Pappa means passing on genes! One of my ex's contacted me via facebook too this week. So don't think that your ex will run back to you and want to reconnect the day after he or she broke up with you. Playing it careful/cool: acting/being aloof in order to gain/maintain/regain ‘control’ of the relationship (current or past) – be that friend or partner. This is just her defense mechanism, she is just not able to let you go NOW, but time will come when she is emotionally ready to leave you for ever and then ur dead in the water, so before that situation arises make everything clear, and stand up like a man, dont be confused with a confused girl. A few hours ago I had a really weird conversation with an ex. when i have done the breaking up with my significant others in the past i did clean breaks. He asked me if I would give him the opportunity to say them to me. that is why i decided to make the split. An ex may come back even when they are not sure of your relationship status. The comment above is wrong as well because that shows you need to make the other person to feel bad by dumping him/her to make yourself feel better. She asked me how she should react to her old flame contacting her again, and I gave her some easy to follow and concrete advice. So let her go. but she was keeping text me and ask about how I feel ,and she told me she doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to meet her or not but she told me that she guess it ok but she doesn’t know because she still sad . she always claims to be thinking that maybe i have suddenly become ready to be just friends now. I want to see him again and he me but the miles keep us apart. That doesn’t cut it. My first girlfriend has emailed me after 20 years and I'm in turmoil. When checking my work e-mail yesterday, I found an e-mail from an ex from years ago -- 2004. his family were my 2nd family. By Karen Schneider. Re-reading that made me realize: So I said you call me back twice. He actually told me to not to tell anyone about it as me … i've moved on, and once lovers ( regardless if it's High School love or not) it would just be odd to try and have a friendship. She must be reminded. Luckily, he got it … No anger, no warm fuzzy feelings. All the time. In your case, once you broke up, there is no “our current” situation. I dated a fellow med student , let call her H. We were together for 3 years . 4. We had a good relationship and only stopped seeing each other because some of his family did not approve of our relationship. The response right above me has no idea what they’re talking about. She said oh but voice was in angry but I said my name it gotten soft and cslm. which i th ink is more a womans quality. I was devastated. This is one of those moments where I ponder whether the universe is testing me, or this is an act of fate, pulling at my heartstrings. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. Go fuck yourself!” I was livid because he had also told me, for no fucking reason, “I just want to forget you.” Um. But my ego is definitely bruised. I know.I’m an idiot. I will pick my moment strategically, and begin to build bridges again. I was of course devastated . so after let her go ,one day she called and said she thinks that we can work everything later after the break and start to call me as before . Especially relationships that ended oddly, such as both of us just stopped communicating one day. The key is to know your worth more, and deserve a better relationship. She’s saying in the email that she is just checking on me and that she knows that I will not answer her but she just want to drop a hi. I always assumed that he treated me like that because his ex emotionally abused him. It’s been more than 7 months since we broke up and we both know that we can’t be together. Is that why I got a response?! How can he treat a girl like that BETTER than he treated me. It is hard to know how to act when you meet someone you once had a relationship with. HOUSE MD: People don’t change; fundamentally I agree, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VLTPKKt-pMs, Please help me dated for 3.5 yrs went on 4 months holiday recived a break up email half way into my holiday. And you also start to question whether you’re really over her or not. And your mind starts to work on high speed to process all these new thoughts. Meditate twice daily for at least 15 minutes So far, so good – but it’s bloody hard work! I don't want him having my address and I have no interest in some old photo. She was his first and she cheated on him. Being “Ghosted” or ghosting is a term people use to refer to a covert and immature way of breaking up with someone where the person simply stops responding to you. I’m in the boat right now and not sure what to make of this unexpected ‘how are you?’ from her.”. I let her say her piece and then I told her I was not interested in getting back together. Reconnecting with an ex after the breakup takes time. RELATED: The 4 Best Apps To Stop You From Contacting Your Ex. I just got a 1:39 AM call from an ex…25 years after we broke up. From a female perspective heres probably what happened: Even after having some "fun" after we got rather tipsy last summer.:P. Get involved in voluntary work 5. I HAD LOT PROBLEMS IN MY MARITAL LIFE AFTER SIX YEARS IN A RELATIONSHIP, I NEVER KNEW MY MAN WAS CHEATING ON ME, ON TILL WE GOT TWO KIDS TOGETHER. If you and your ex haven't spoken in a long time (or at all), be extra thoughtful. In the end he just had to let both of them go. #15 clyde46. A lot of it. OVER NINE MONTHS HE REFUSED TO COME BACK HOME, AND I DID EVERYTHING JUST TO GET HIM BACK BECAUSE I WANT MY KIDS TO LIVE HAPPY FAMILY. She’s simply calling me up to hear how I am doing. My ex had these things to say to me after our relationship had ended over five years earlier. Then I’m the reason hes diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. The first time I caved in (which I later regretted), the second time I brushed it off (“we’re just friends, let’s roll with it”), and now…she sent me a long text about how she was sorry we were no longer best friends, and how she misses having someone to confide in, and that she sometimes thinks I hate her and knows I’m only being her friend because I have to (WTF?! Few years later, she sends me an IM and we started talking, we almost got back together, then she played the "I want to wait until my grades are better to date you." Because when there is nothing more to add, they will most likely, unconscious about it, make something up. Then at the beginning of the 4th year , she broke up with me suddenly. I’m sorry to hear about you being attached to her son. The best thing to do is to move on with NC and find new love. Reconciliations take a lot of time. I’m just deciding how to play it from here. This article covers everything….was really helpful…hats off to you for helping understand about relationships. Similar situation...ex (the one that got away) contacted after appx 15 years. i thought perhaps he is thinking back over the year and wants to make peace. Then ask who is this I her my name. Here is my story . From time to time, if I see something that reminds me of an inside joke with my ex, I might snap a picture and send it to them. After a while I just stopped. ... is that he said just 24 hours after the spell is done is when my ex will come and as i am talking to you people now my ex is came back to me exactly after 24 hours as he said and now i and my … A man that I once knew many years ago contacted me on Facebook 2 years ago and supposedly had searched me out for 10 years. The ex does not know my situation he is not married and hasn’t been for years. I totally agree with you some of this advice is so fukkkkkn negative. Pro tip: Keep your mind open and your heart closed. Well, I have a current GF, and we have been off and on recently, but we have a child together. I know I shouldn’t think about it and about her but I should I reply? Now he is calling out of the blue. she told me he had been ’emotional’ when she said she was meeting me. I could not make it alone financially I guess that’s why I stay and being afraid. I believe she is just being honest with her husband, if she didn’t tell him and later down the road he found out that could spell trouble for most. What's done is done. And she was like no.. Seeing your ex’s name pop up on your phone can produce a visceral reaction, like the one Glantz mentioned above. Can someone give me some advice please? Third, I know what you’re saying is true. Ponder this question. You have the other guy anyways… move on. it's kinda weird because after all this time i have never been the one to try and reconnect with her. Stand by your decision and don’t take a single step back. that was easy because i had absolutely no desire to even see those girls again. In our 20s we were on/off for about 3 years & during one of those off times she met someone else & ultimately got married. On the one hand, addressing them might nip the problem in the bud, but ignoring means I never have to deal with them in the first place. You are not your brain or your thoughts, you are you. You will never know, and it really doesn’t matter. Ok here’s my story… My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. Just as many people reunite after 10 years apart (which could still be in their twenties) as 40 years apart. Add message | Report | See all. Im stupid, i know. A bit shallow, no? We cover topics you’d find helpful like how to recover after an ex reaches out, how to set boundaries after a breakup and why ex contact can be so difficult to cut off. My girlfriend broke up with me after 9 years an(our relationship was like break up makeup relationship, she always cheats and I forgive her but this time told me she wants a break up I begged her to stay but refuse that she has gotten someone else, I did the no contact for about 6-7weeks then she pop up again to apologize I thought she was serious and we even had sex. It was right for him. why do they want to be friends? !You’re right. That was 20 years ago. For years. I’m sorry that you got caught up with such a rotten girl. Its been 12 years and I never found a nice person I have been quite unhappy. . Thu 24 Mar 2011 16.59 EDT. Okay so I have childhood ex that I havent seen for about 5 years now because me and my family decided to move somewhat far away at the time… Only temporary though .. 4 years was the plan, but now it’s been extended to 6 years. I wanted her back but she is 37 and I am 31.She keep going to her family to know if we should get back together and they are not really happy for that and she told me to hold on that she don’t know what she want for 5 months now but someday ago I have to ask her if she can be honest to me and let me know if she want me or not because it is affecting me and am becoming depressed about this because I cant see my child as much as I can. 12 Effective (and Slightly Badass) Ways to be the Sexiest Guy in the Room. I had a pg scare druel to a really late period and he refused to buy me a test and called me emotional and crazy when I couldn’t stop crying to him. I made sure H and I were never in the same postings. I agreed and H suggested we meet up at the park we used to hang out and have picnics . It has been years. I have been in the exact same situation several times. Sometimes, it’s a rush of excitement. When you’re in a relationship so long and one day the other person says it’s not good enough. He/she still wants to be my friend. it was weird, but nice at the same time. “Does my ex miss me?” …are probably racing through your mind. There were obviously feelings still there because we flirted with each other and reminisced. Thoughts? Alyssa, I don’t think there is anything to explain except that you dated a loser and your being insecure about him jumping to another girl so soon. Welcome to Just Keep The Change – a blog focusing on making every man a better man. This morning he texts me “Hi” out of the blue ! -It didn’t work out between her and this other guy so now shes interested in you, “the nice guy” again. But when you really give it some thought, what you most likely will come up with is that no, you don’t want to get back together. As I said before, the energy you spend thinking about something is taken away from other tasks at hand. she was my first, and i was her first. It would be easy to take the view that she’s had her cake and eaten it and I should never go back. i have been talking to an ex on a social network for about 8 months now. I personally don’t, I’m 32 and if a friend or girlfriend is like that it’s a major turn off for me…..MAJOR, 2. Relax! Nah, I don't have any contacts outside of my House :). This premise, that guys over-analyze stuff like ex’s contacting them again, is not to be taken lightly. Don't get in contact with her. October 20, 2016 at 5:15 am. eventually i ask too many questions about what she is doing and who she is seeing when before she decided to shake me up and contact me i was not thinking about that and accepting that there was nothing i could do. He tried to brush up on me in a sexual way. Sex makes babies. The best responses will be published in G2 next Friday. My ex girlfriend just reached out after 6 months of no contact! Hi, my name is Alex Kay. for it to be taken away again. PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE I AM CONFUSED IF SHE STILL LOVE AND WHAT SHOULD I DO HELP THIS relationship. You’re right. the conversations are brief. now i'm married, and have a great life, and so does she. If I call her back straight away, I’ve thrown away the most attractive thing I have to her. At first, I had no idea who it was from, thats how long ago it was that I last talked to him! This isn’t about my ex. So i been in that boat man..feels weird. “He was like I’m 21 and half of me wants to be in a relationship and half of me doesn’t.” We go to the same college together. So for about the last 3 weeks I have not been texting her. 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